I have been mentally working on this post for about a week. I have had a hard time getting time to sit down and type it out but I finally have all my thoughts together. My life has experienced some very dramatic changes in the last month and a half. Not only have I re-affirmed my faith in Christ but I have also returned to church and have been attending for 6 weeks now. I am on a new journey in my life spiritually and I plan to take full advantage of the opportunities presented to me. I have been wanting to return to church for the past year or so but couldn’t figure out how to approach it, being a single woman and all. It’s not easy to just pick a church and start attending. Back in December, I’m not sure if you remember but I ran the Reindeer Romp 5k and in my race packet, there was a book titled Second Wind by Thomas Alan Wheeler. Mr. Wheeler is a local founder of a Christian ministry and rediscovered his faith and wanted to share his story and also reach out to others with his story. This book has changed my life. When I read the back of the book, it talked about things like “Has your life not turned out like you though it should”, “Do you ever ask yourself how you got here?” “Don’t you deserve a second wind?” I felt that the book was talking directly to me. I have been concentrating my life on the wrong things and my focus has not been where it should be. I had been spending a lot of my timing feeling sorry for myself because I am still single and wondering when I will get my happy ending when in all actuality my life is pretty great. I was not depressed nor did I let my life pass me by but at the same time I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t met that person to complete me. I had to remind myself that I have amazing parents, a sister that is also my friend, I have a wonderful group of friends, all of these people support me in all my endeavors. I have a good job, a roof over my head, food in my pantry and clothes on my back. Life could be worse and sadly is worse for others. After I began reading this book I realized that my main focus was not to be on myself and what I needed but that I needed to be devoting myself as a Christian to learning more about God’s plan for me.
As I was driving home from work one day I got this feeling that I should go to church that Sunday. So I called up my mom and asked if I could attend church with her on Sunday. She started attending Church of Christ a few years ago and she was thrilled that I wanted to go with her. Ever since then I have finished reading the Second Wind book and I would recommend it to anyone (it’s available on amazon if you are interested), it opened up my eyes and made me realize that I am not in control of my life, that God does have a plan for me and it’s not for me to understand or know exactly when something or anything is going to happen. He knows the right time and place and I just have to trust that. I have also began reading the Bible, I am ashamed to state that I was brought up in the church as a child but I have never read the entire Bible, there is so much for me to learn and so much that I just don’t know and I am excited to find out what I have been missing for so long. Everyone at my mom’s church was extremely welcoming and I felt loved the minute I walked in there. The pastor is honest in his sermon and he allows you to see the right path you should be taking.
I have not always been on the right path and yes many things have pulled me off that righteous path and I am guilty of just falling in step. But I have decided to start my life over and make better choices based on my faith and not just because everyone is doing it. Because one day God is going to come back for us and I will be ready for that day and I hope that I can influence others to realize this too. One thing I have realized that in my choice to take a new path and a new journey is that not everyone will understand or agree with my choice. That’s the hardest part but God has been by my side supporting me every step of the way and reminding me that I have made the right choice.
Another change I have made in my life is that for the first time in 5 years I will be living alone again. My sister has lived with me for about 4 years (1 year in an apt and 3 years in my house) and as part of my journey, I have realized that it’s time for me to be on my own again and also for her to take that step to be completely on her own. It was one of the hardest decisions I have made because she is not only my roommate but my sister and best friend. The bottom line is that I will be 32 years old next month, my sister just turned 29 and we are not spring chickens anymore. Life is moving along fast and I have just been watching it pass by. I have decided to take charge of my life and in order to move forward for me this separation had to happen. It has been a hard transition over the last few weeks emotionally but I know that I have made the right decision and have to stay firm at that. My sister will be moving out this weekend and it’s very bittersweet, on one hand I will miss her company tremendously, we have had a blast living together but I know this separation will eventually make our relationship stronger, on the other hand, I am excited for her to experience this new chapter in her life. She is very excited to move into her apartment and do everything her way. That is the fun part of being on your own for the first time, there is no one to please but yourself.
Ever since I have made the decision to live alone, I have faced several trials and tribulations, financially and emotionally. Emotionally it has been hard making the decision to live alone and ask my sister to move out but on the other hand I knew that I had to do it for each of us to be happy and grow further in our lives. I did express to my sister that I would support and help her in any way that I could to prepare her for this transaction in her life, she chose to move out sooner than I anticipated but I think it’s going to be a great thing for her. My sister doesn’t completely understand my decision but I hope over time she will look back and understand it was the right thing for both of us. I prayed a lot about this decision and asked God to ensure me that I was making the right decision and I felt his strength and it kept me strong and gave me the confidence to know that I was making the right decision. Emotionally, it was hard because I knew that not everyone (my friends) would understand the choice that I made and my sister and I have the same friends, so I didn’t want to put anyone in the middle or ask them to take sides and thankfully everyone was supportive of both of us so that was a huge relief for me. Every time that I felt at the end of my rope, I took a deep breath and turned to God and every time I felt that nudge that everything was going to be okay and it was going to work out. I just had to continue to have faith and be strong.
Financially I am fine to live on my own, but I have also been on Dave Ramsey’s plan of getting rid of my debt and building my savings so I can live financially free. I was very close to paying off my debt when of course an emergency happens, my check engine light in my car came on and what started as a small repair ended up a large (financially) repair and now I am set back a bit in my plan. Sadly I was not happy but the truth of the matter is that I only have one vehicle and it has to be fixed, and even though this happened, instead of freaking out like I would have a few years back, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I have a good job that provides a paycheck, which allows me to have a roof over my head, food on my plate and clothes on my back. Life ain’t too shabby. I just have to reevaluate my debt/savings plan and jump back into attack mode! Oh and my heat went out this week too, but thank goodness I buy a home warranty every year and it covered the entire repair, woohoo! Such a relief. That home warranty is worth every penny!
The point I want to make is that since I have chosen to return to God’s path, he has stood with me through every decision I have made, he supports me and he loves me and I can’t tell you how good it feels to know that again. I know that these little things that have happened since I made my decision are just the Devil’s way of trying to shake my faith and see if I will cave under the pressure. Well guess what I am a strong Christian woman and nothing is going to shake my faith anymore! I am sad that it has taken me this long to realize the path that I should be on but I am glad that I have found my way back.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent.
Phillippians 1:6 And I am certain that God who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Ephesians 6:11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.
Women of Christ (Twitter)
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